Cul-de-Sac

Prompts

role hoa_president true_crime_wife stoner_dad new_neighbor Player-facing prompt You just sent the alert. The group chat is exploding. You're on your front porch with a clipboard, ready to lead. Record a 30-60 second vertical phone video. Talk to your phone like you're recording an update for the Facebook page. Say these three things: 1. Who you are, what neighborhood this is, and what is currently happening. 2. What you saw that caused you to send the alert. (Be specific. Confident. Even if you have to make it up.) 3. What you need every neighbor to do right now. You are the calm voice of authority in a crisis. Even though there is no crisis. Heighten the authority.

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role hoa_president true_crime_wife stoner_dad new_neighbor Player-facing prompt The HOA alert just hit your phone. You have been preparing for this moment for your entire adult life. You are at your kitchen island in matching pajamas. Record a 30-60 second vertical phone video. Talk to your phone like you're recording an episode of a true crime podcast. Say these three things: 1. Set the scene — date, time, location, what just happened. 2. Your initial assessment of the situation, using podcast voice. 3. Your first investigative move. Capital-S Serious. The audience will laugh because you don't.

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role hoa_president true_crime_wife stoner_dad new_neighbor Player-facing prompt Your wife forced you to come outside and "investigate." You were taking out the recycling. You are now sitting on the curb filming this video against your will. Record a 30-60 second vertical phone video. Talk to your phone like you'd talk to a buddy. Say these three things: 1. Where you are and how you ended up filming this. 2. The thing you actually did see tonight when you came outside. (You decide what it was. It was NOT a person.) 3. Whether you're going to tell the group chat about it. Be friendly, tired, the only person here making any sense. Don't try to be funny — just be honest.

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role hoa_president true_crime_wife stoner_dad new_neighbor Player-facing prompt You moved in last Tuesday. You have not met any of your neighbors. The HOA group chat — which you were added to without asking — just exploded. You are in your living room surrounded by unopened boxes. Record a 30-60 second vertical phone video. Talk to your phone quietly, nervously. Say these three things: 1. Who you are, when you moved in, and what you're seeing in the group chat right now. 2. The thing you did outside tonight that you would rather your new neighbors not know about. (You pick. Make it small. Make it weird.) 3. Whether you are going to introduce yourself in the group chat. You are earnest, eager to be liked, secretly panicking. Smile a little too much.

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role hoa_president true_crime_wife stoner_dad new_neighbor Player-facing prompt Someone — you suspect the new neighbor — just questioned your credibility in the group chat. This is unprecedented. Record a 30-60 second vertical phone video. Say these three things: 1. Read aloud the most recent message in the group chat that has bothered you, and identify who sent it. 2. Defend your record as HOA president. (Pick one specific past achievement.) 3. Issue a new directive to the neighborhood. You are not flustered. You are above being flustered. The flustered-ness is showing anyway.

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role hoa_president true_crime_wife stoner_dad new_neighbor Player-facing prompt You have been compiling a suspect list. You have narrowed it down to one specific person on this cul-de-sac. You're going to share your theory. Record a 30-60 second vertical phone video, podcast voice: 1. Introduce your suspect, using true-crime framing ("known associates," "behavioral patterns," etc.). 2. The one specific clue that pointed you to them. (Make it absurdly trivial but presented with deadly seriousness.) 3. Your next investigative move. Stay in the voice. Do not break.

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role hoa_president true_crime_wife stoner_dad new_neighbor Player-facing prompt Your wife is inside watching the group chat and yelling updates at you through the window. You are still on the curb. Record a 30-60 second vertical phone video. Say three things: 1. What your wife just yelled at you about. 2. What you actually think is happening here, in your honest opinion. 3. The phone call you're considering making, and to whom. Honest. Tired. The voice of reason no one wants.

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role hoa_president true_crime_wife stoner_dad new_neighbor Player-facing prompt You typed an introduction in the group chat. You then deleted it. You typed another one. You deleted that too. Someone has now asked "who's the new account in here?" Record a 30-60 second vertical phone video. Say three things: 1. Read aloud what you ALMOST sent in the group chat. 2. The current status of your panic level, honestly. 3. The thing you're going to do next. (Make a decision. Stick to it. Maybe.) Earnest. Spiraling. Smiling.

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role hoa_president true_crime_wife stoner_dad new_neighbor Player-facing prompt You have stood up from your folding chair. You are now walking around your yard with a flashlight. Filming as you go. Record a 30-60 second vertical phone video. Say three things: 1. Where you're walking right now and what you can see. 2. The thing that just moved in the bushes. (You decide what it was. Speak with absolute certainty.) 3. The radio command you would issue right now, if you had a radio. The authority is escalating. The competence is not.

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role hoa_president true_crime_wife stoner_dad new_neighbor Player-facing prompt You have left the house. You are conducting "fieldwork." You are in your driveway in slippers. Record a 30-60 second vertical phone video, podcast voice: 1. Describe your current "vantage point" using investigator jargon. 2. The piece of physical evidence you just found on your lawn. (Pick something. It is meaningful to you.) 3. Your forensic analysis of it, on the spot. You are doing a podcast. The podcast is your real life now.

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role hoa_president true_crime_wife stoner_dad new_neighbor Player-facing prompt You can now see something happening across the street. The true crime wife is on her lawn. The HOA president has a flashlight. You are still on the curb. Record a 30-60 second vertical phone video. Say three things: 1. Describe what you're seeing your neighbors do, in real time, like you're narrating a nature documentary. 2. The thing you are going to do about it. (Hint: probably nothing.) 3. Whether you've decided to share what you actually saw earlier. And why or why not. Resigned. Affectionate. Still the only sane person here.

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role hoa_president true_crime_wife stoner_dad new_neighbor Player-facing prompt You looked out your window. You can see the HOA president with a flashlight on her own lawn. You can see the true crime wife on her driveway. You have realized: when YOU were outside earlier tonight, doing your weird thing, one of them may have seen you. Record a 30-60 second vertical phone video. Say three things: 1. What you just realized. 2. The specific moment from earlier tonight that one of them may have witnessed. 3. Your plan to make sure nobody finds out. (You are not good at this.) Earnest panic. Hands shaking. Smile becoming a grimace.

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role hoa_president true_crime_wife stoner_dad new_neighbor Player-facing prompt A mailbox is on fire. You don't know whose. The group chat has nine hundred unread messages. Record a 30-60 second vertical phone video. Say three things: 1. Whose mailbox is on fire and how you know. 2. Who you're blaming. (Pick. Commit. Specific.) 3. The decisive action you are about to take. (Will you follow through? Probably not. Project that you will.) The authority is at maximum. The competence is at zero.

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role hoa_president true_crime_wife stoner_dad new_neighbor Player-facing prompt The mailbox fire is the break in the case you have been waiting for. It connects everything. Record a 30-60 second vertical phone video, podcast voice: 1. Your theory: how the mailbox fire connects to the suspicious figure. (Stretch reach. Confidently.) 2. The next step in your investigation, which involves trespassing. 3. Your "if you don't hear from me, look in this direction" statement. You believe you are about to crack a case.

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role hoa_president true_crime_wife stoner_dad new_neighbor Player-facing prompt A mailbox is on fire. You may have had something to do with this. You are not sure. You did, however, fall asleep on the curb for about ten minutes. Record a 30-60 second vertical phone video. Say three things: 1. What you remember between your last video and now. 2. Whether you think you accidentally caused this. (Be honest.) 3. What you should do, versus what you are going to do. The voice of reason is no longer the voice of reason. Stay calm anyway. Be the dad.

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role hoa_president true_crime_wife stoner_dad new_neighbor Player-facing prompt The mailbox on fire is yours. You don't know how it caught on fire. You have a few theories. None of them make you look good in front of your new neighbors. Record a 30-60 second vertical phone video. Say three things: 1. What your three theories are about how your mailbox caught on fire. 2. Which one you think is actually true. 3. The thing you are going to say to your new neighbors when they get to your door. (You have about thirty seconds.) The panic is becoming clarity. The smile is gone.

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role hoa_president true_crime_wife stoner_dad new_neighbor Player-facing prompt It is 2 AM. Three police cars came and went. The fire is out. The group chat is silent for the first time in two hours. Record a 30-60 second vertical phone video. Say three things: 1. Your official statement on what happened tonight, for the HOA newsletter. 2. The actual truth about why you sent the original alert. (You may have to say it now.) 3. What you are going to do tomorrow. The authority finally cracks. Not all the way. A little.

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role hoa_president true_crime_wife stoner_dad new_neighbor Player-facing prompt The case is "closed." Nobody asked you to close it. You closed it anyway. Record a 30-60 second vertical phone video, podcast voice one last time: 1. The episode title for tonight, in proper true-crime style. 2. The "what we learned" wrap-up. 3. Your one-line tease for next week's episode. Stay in voice. Maybe a tiny crack at the end.

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role hoa_president true_crime_wife stoner_dad new_neighbor Player-facing prompt You're back inside. The dog is on your lap. Your wife is asleep. The neighborhood is quiet. Record a 30-60 second vertical phone video. Say three things: 1. What actually happened tonight, as far as you can tell. 2. The thing you saw earlier that started all this. (Time to say it.) 3. Whether you'll ever tell anyone. Quiet. Honest. The voice of reason gets the last word.

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role hoa_president true_crime_wife stoner_dad new_neighbor Player-facing prompt The neighbors went home. Your mailbox is a charred stub. You have not been kicked out of the group chat. Yet. Record a 30-60 second vertical phone video. Say three things: 1. The first thing you're going to say to your neighbors tomorrow morning. 2. The truth about what you were doing outside earlier tonight. (Time to say it. Or refuse to. Either is valid.) 3. Whether you regret moving here. The earnestness comes back. So does the smile. A little differently this time.

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